Songbuzzard

I  had the misfortune to sit in front of a woman who was singing in a slightly off-key voice.  Her keening was louder than my heavy-duty earplugs could handle.  So, I turned and asked, "Could you please not sing?"  She shot back with, "Why not?".

I gave it a beat and replied, "Because it's bothering me, of course."  After a pause, she said in a sarcastic tone, "Fine. I'll stop singing."


She did shut up for about 5 minutes, then the off-key keening started again. Louder this time, of course.  I've noticed that jerks tend to 'hike the gain' if they find they're bothering someone.

Readers, I couldn't help it.  I laughed.  Then, forgive me, I started singing off-key in response.  She'd sing something, I'd sing something deliberately off-key.  I kept my voice down since I didn't want to bother the few other people on the bus.  But she heard me.  She increased her volume.  I laughed and added lyrics to my 'song':

"Crazy annoying people

singing badly on the bus. 

The bus. On the bus.

Crazy lady sings badly

Just doesn't get it. Crazy

On the bus. The bus. 

(etc.)"

Now I know that it's risky to mock bus people, but I've had a bad week.  At any rate, she continued to keen and I continued to mock until she finally gave it up after about 10 minutes.  I went back to learning the bus tracker app I'd just downloaded

When she finally got up to leave and leaned over me to say, "I hope you're happy, you miserable old c**t."

I laughed and laughed.   I supposed she hoped she would be cutting, but she only ended up confirming her nasty pettiness!